maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
