Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
