You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
