if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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