Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
