Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
