its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
