I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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