That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
