I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
