Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
