I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize