I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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