just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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