So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
