when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize