just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
