i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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