I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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