Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
