he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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