Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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