I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize