Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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