It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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