I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
