may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
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You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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