ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
