Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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