dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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