Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
