There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
