Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
