sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
