So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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