Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
