It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
this hospital has no fireball
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
