They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
