i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
