RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
