i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
