Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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