Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
