Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There are leaves in my underwear?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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