i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
