Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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