i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
they need to just BURY HIM!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Randomize
