This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I deserve this hangover.
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