Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
