Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
