Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
