just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
