ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
