with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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