Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
