awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
