I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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