My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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