he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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