Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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