Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
