whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
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